this morning I got up and looked around at the apartment I am staying in and thought "ok, it's time to clean". first things first, laundry. being a college student in the 90s, I'd been saving up my quarters for the laundry, it's a shared laundry room and that means quarters are the only currency. so I put on the least smelly of my dirty clothes, rooted around for a container to put the rest in, and headed up to the laundry room. this was at mid-morning, and it's monday, so of course when I went into the laundry room the only person there was the cleaning guy. he looked up at me and sheepishly smiled, and I thought "I can't wash my unmentionables with someone smiling at me"= hasty retreat from the laundry room. half an hour later (really it takes me about 5 minutes to clean a laundry room, but this whole place outside my door is spotless, so I think they must have more earnest methods of cleaning) I went up again, and no cleaning guy! what a relief. so I get out my quarters and.. what, a card slot? no quarter slots for 5 quarters with two of the slots blocked out? I stood there a minute, baffled. then I did the only thing I could think of, which was to wander the laundry room looking for a quarter machine. maybe it's just hidden near the back, I don't know, someone moved my quarter slots and it really threw me. but no, all card-reading machines. this is perplexing. ok, no problem, I have cards- american express, discover, visa- I'll go get one of those. trot back downstairs and put cards in pockets, trot back up. ok slot, here you go and... american express doesn't fit. hm. retry with discover card. logic would say they're the same size, but I'm faced with a slot and it wants something, so I'm going to try everything I've got dangit! discover card doesn't fit. fine. I knew that. the whole laundry system was breaking down, looked like I'd actually have to talk to someone.
so I go to the upstairs leasing office nextdoor, fancy apartment building with fancy dressed people in the leasing office. I sort of slide in, I'm not sure I'm really allowed to be staying for two months in my brother's apartment, so I use my quietest asking voice- "um, hi, sorry to disturb you, but your laundry room takes credit cards, right?". bob-headed possible MIT student working at the desk says "..no, ... you use money to purchase a card, then use the card to purchase time on the machines...?". "ok, right, I'll try that then, thanks so much!.." and slink my greasy head from skipping a shower back out the door unnoticeably (hopefully).
now I have the key to the puzzle! the mystery is unraveling before me, I must purchase a card! I take my pockets full of quarters triumphantly back into the laundry room, put my clothes in the washer with detergent, and find the card kiosk near the back. a-ha! so I just insert my quarters and... hold it. 'new cards can only be purchased with $5 bills'. $5 bills?? who collects $5 bills?? what is this, quarters aren't good enough any more, I have to start collecting $5 bills?!. breathe. ok. I've got a problem because my clothes and detergent are already in there, and all I have is a $10 downstairs. I just have to go do the unthinkable- go outside, where all the scientists are, in my dirty clothes and unwashed self, and buy something. I go out, they're out there getting their coffees and milling about, and I briskly walk the 4 blocks in the morning coffee break hour amidst them to the little convenience store tucked underneath one of the buildings with a name ending in "ex" (Amunex, Genex, they're all named something like that). I buy a muffin, and am so self-conscious that when the teller asks me if I want a napkin I go into a big story about how no, I don't need a napkin, I'll just eat it when I get home (like they care!). I trot it back home, walk up the steps finally with my $5, enter the laundry room, go to the back, purchase the card, insert the card into the machine, and... "Err". Err? that was not an american express you stupid machine, that was the approved card! argh. insert card again and, YES, it finally works. but wait, 'amount left on card- $3'? it costs $1.65 for each cycle! time can only be added with $5 bills. what is this cruel joke of a world. fine. no dryer, ok??! I won't use the freakin' dryer! (I got mad. very, very rare).
I slam my way out of the laundry room, retreat downstairs until enough time has passed that I know my wet clothes are waiting guiltily for me to come pick them up, and a mere two hours later from when I began doing my laundry, my living room is covered with draped, wet, fresh-smelling clothes. guess I'm not going back outside today.
but I do feel much better now that I typed all that out.
:)